Women, Confessions & Encouragement

I’ve found myself in an interesting place this week, giving advice on solidarity and rising above our tribulations to a group of young women. There are times when I feel a wave of injustice, despair, stress or discontent wash over me and I have to decide, am I going to allow these feelings to dictate my actions and beliefs? Now you might be asking what in the world does this have to do with home decorating? Let me explain.

Women are amazing creatures. We are very intuitive and are masters of communication. I think that a majority of you all will agree that men absolutely suck at this. WE know how to communicate our displeasure with the slightest expression.

We are all guilty of “The Look”.

You know exactly what I’m talking about…the look that stops our children in their tracks. The silent look we give telling our husbands to back off.  It’s the pursed lips, the slightly arched eyebrows, the widened-deer in the head lights-eyes, the “blink- blink” blank stare, the slow, exasperated sigh. Webster defined it as: “The Look: To express a sentiment of displeasure or disagreement with the slightest of facial movements.” (ok, not really, but he would’ve!).

I need to confess something.

I’ve been really struggling with comparison and discontent. I mean come on, just look at all these amazingly talented home & design bloggers out there! They are all so chic and stylish. They are amazing writers, photographers, designers, and seem to have endless supplies of money and connections. They are organized and their homes are immaculate. The “Jones” have new furniture, drapes, rugs, accessories, not to mention oodles of creative genius. They seem to have it all.

How could I possibly compete?

My house looks like a tornado hit it 90% of the time. I often scream at my kids. The kitchen floor has not been mopped in over a year (no joke). I can barely keep up with the laundry. It’s 5:00 and I have no clue what I’m making for dinner. What the heck is that growing in the back of my refrigerator?! I really could be a better friend, daughter, and sister. I’m not a great wife. My house doesn’t look like the magazines.

I’m not Superwoman.

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If any of those statements ring true with you then know…

you are not alone.

You know what is so damaging about these feelings? These women are my friends. We are always comparing ourselves to each other and judging each other’s achievements, riches, and blessings. It needs to stop. I need to stop. Each one of us have been given different gifts by our Creator and we should celebrate those gifts and not be envious of others or be constantly comparing ourselves to them.  What would happen if we as women, decided to embrace and encourage the women surrounding us? What would happen if we joined together and united in a purposeful decision to build each other up, to develop each other’s talents and gifts, to love and not judge?

What would happen?

Could your simple compliment, comment of encouragement, show of support, or selfless action, actually change a person’s life? Absolutely. A woman’s tongue can easily tear down and destroy, or just as easily build someone up and help them soar.

We all want to soar.

“It’s about girl power”.

I knew the moment those words, “girl power”, left my mouth that this group of young women I was speaking to would silently and invisibly roll their eyes and possibly tune out, but the words rang true. When girls or women set aside their own petty or selfish views and unite together then powerful and amazing things happen! The very next day I watched these young women do just that. They selflessly came together, with more camaraderie, encouragement, and joy for each other than any of us had seen before. It was beautiful and honestly, a personal conviction of how negative my thought processes have been and how they should be.

It was time to practice what I preached.

I want to encourage you, my wonderful readers, when you walk into your friend’s beautiful home, or when you read the home blogs, or see some gorgeous picture on Pinterest, to not allow that twinge of jealous bitterness to grab hold of your mind, but to simply be inspired and appreciate and even encourage the talents that person possesses. Because YOU also hold so many talents and blessings.

Kim

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